God's Embrace

God knows what He is doing . . . again I was feeling a little lonely because I am so different than most everyone else. I know that God prepared me for this situation during college and all but it is still hard. Thankfully, one day God showed me that he is still here with me though it may not seem like it sometimes. One of the lead supervisors, Mauricio from Columbia, who is in charge of maintenance and tools asked me to help him with inventory of all the tools and spare parts to make sure one of the units had everything before it went out on a job. It was a Sunday so there was not much going on around the base including in the yard and I did not want to be in the office anymore, so I quickly said yes. While counting everything and cleaning he asked me what type of church my family went to. He was the first person I have met so far here in Mexico that asked me that type of question. Most of the time it is just “eres catholica? (Are you catholic?)” and that’s it. Normally I say no a Christian but most don’t understand the meaning behind that. Hopefully people will start asking more.

Anyways, I told Mauricio that I grew up in a non-denominational church (this all in broken Spanish/English!). He said that he understood and asked because he could tell that I was different. He said my demeanor and the words I use “gave me away”! We ended up talking about religion and how for many people here in Mexico think of God just as that a “religion” or tradition. He said for him it was a “relationship”. When I heard that I almost started to cry . . . it was sooo nice hearing those words come out from someone else. It is so hard trying to fit into this culture and company but still be the person I truly am. God knew what I needed and again showed me that He is still embracing me. I know that God has a plan for me here (though I do not know for how long) and I hope that I will truly listen to what he wants not what I or the world wants. I told Mauricio this and he agreed with me! We ended up talking for a lot longer, still in broke Spanish/English but God allowed us to understand each other! In the end he invited me to meet his family and have dinner some time . . . I told him tell me when and where and I will be there!!

Another God send is a message from one of my friends recently. The message was very encouraging . . . she said that she admired me for following God’s will. I do not think I deserve that at all, my mind has not been right all the time and sometimes I don’t listen to what God really wants. I have been very afraid sometimes to tell others what I know and been very lazy in talking to Him. I am being very honest because I still need prayer and accountability from everyone to help me stay the right course and listen to my heart.

I think this blog has been really good for me. I never thought I would enjoy it or like writing but I do! It is nice to tell people that know me before this adventure what is going on in my life. It has been needed to help keep my sanity in this crazy world I have entered. Spanish all the time is not healthy for my mind either!! Maybe one day it will be fine but right now it is not!! I am confused enough that once in a while sitting down and writing in English and not about work gives me a clearer mind if that makes any sense!

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant but soon there will be another post about my life here in Poza Rica . . . it is sooo much better than Reynosa right now!